Friday 20 March 2009

Distinction

is it possible to make a distinction
between loving a person
and so called ‘holding on to hope’
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since I quote:
you know. it doesnt make a difference if you hold on to hope vs liking the person and giving up hope.
liking/love is hope in itself.


when they all ask me ...
I still say the same thing:
“I given up hope”...
-
but if you ask me about how I feel about it... nothing much has changed...
-


everyone all tells me the same thing... to various degrees
as a sane rational person
I do know... I won’t hold on to something that I cant do anything about
-
but then I cannot do what i did before... tell a certain O.Z.X.
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as Ian told me,as Charles told me
no point running away from it...
-
face up to it... like a man


somehow a lot of people i know seem to be exasperated with my so called “stubbornness”
-
I know, I keep to myself
I don’t really do anything much
somehow, silence doesn’t seem enough
-


I heard stuff too
the not so nice stuff...
-
it pains me sometimes
but I have to agree also
-
but I cannot do anything eitherway
maybe I could pray
-
but again, I cannot give myself away
I have to guard my own heart...


in a sense, maybe having such an extensive photo library isn’t good
the pictures just remind me of the past...
-
which is why, after so long
I thought of this again...
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I guess if you do read this someday
i dunno if you care anyway...
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not like it really matters...

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